So, I put together my outfit the other day, and I think I was looking particularly fine.
I decided to give a new pair of jeans their public debut.
They are Diesel jeans, and they are one of those designs that look like you’ve just finished painting a ceiling in them, with white dots all over them.
Another cute little feature of them, are the silhouettes of the spiders, flies and flying critters sewn into the denim.
Now you’d think that because they’re my jeans, and I consciously put them on, that I would remember these little design gems.
You would think that, but you’d be wrong.
I was driving into Newtown and was clearly daydreaming, when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a white speck on my thigh.
I glanced down to brush the offending speck off, and yes, the first thing that registered in my brain, was there was a bleeding great spider just sitting there on my thigh!
I let loose one of those yells that would be impossible to spell (YOOEEERAAGGGOOAAAA!!?), and madly started slapping my thigh like I was in a particularly energetic, but slightly retarded ho-down.
My spider killing abilities were then interrupted by someone blasting a horn.
In my enthusiasm for demonstrating my pest extermination technique, I kind of forgot for a moment that I was driving.
While my eyes had dropped to my leg, I had actually let go of the steering wheel, and quite intelligently, kept my foot on the accelerator.
The car had drifted across the outside lane, and directly into the path of oncoming traffic!
There’s nothing like the sense of impending death from a head on collision to take your mind off a bug on your leg.
I shot into a side street, pulled over and then realised that the offending arachnid was still quietly sitting there in all his cottony glory.
I had to sit there for a moment to compose myself.
Not because I was shaken by the panic induced near death experience, but because I was finding it hard to comprehend what a moron I had just proven myself to be.
You’d think that I would want to keep this idiotic adventure to myself, keeping at least a semblance of smartiness for me, but in the interest of entertainment I thought I’d use it as blog material.
The things I do for you lot.
Anyway, if I had died, I would have at least looked good for the occasion.
Shoes – Stacy Adams
Jeans – Diesel
Shirt – English Laundry
